As all homemakers know, homemaking involves more than just cleaning house. It involves the job of delicately balancing your priorities in order to take care of all the duties placed into your hands. Juggling husband, children, your spiritual life, homeschooling, church, cleaning, cooking, shopping, and on and on takes quite a bit of creativity and much self denial.
Why self denial? Because we are naturally selfish people. How often in a day does a mother loose her patience because things aren’t going “as planned?” We like things to go as we have imagined that they should go, and if they don’t, we get upset things have gone against our will.
When we plan on a homeschool lesson to take a certain amount of time and then have to go much longer because the child is having a difficulty, it takes much patience. When we have deadlines to meet in order to have dinner ready at a certain time when our guests are to arrive, and then have setbacks in the form of a child unexpectedly throwing up on your nice clean living room floor, have something burn, or realize that your are out of a key ingredient for your meal at the most inopportune time, then we certainly are under a great test of our character.
As mothers, and being selfish by nature, it is very difficult to endure problems in daily life. It always will be! Day by day (and often moment by moment) we must commit ourselves to God’s will for the day (whatever that may be!), and to the service of our family. Every day we must tell ourselves that we have been bought with a price, and are no longer our own. The Lord knows what is in store for us each day, and we must put each event into His care, as our wise and loving Father.
It is not right for a mother to try to live as if she were single, by constantly trying to live out every pleasure she has without the “interference” of her children. She has to realize that her life is no longer hers alone. She is no longer free to sit down all day and read a book, talk on the phone for hours with friends, etc. Her life is now intertwined with her children’s lives, and her interests need to be wrapped around their needs for her as a mother.
A mother must take advantage of the waking hours with her children, not only to do her duties, but to also live to make them disciples of Jesus. Your children don’t just need to see you work, but to see you live and interact with them with patience, fun, love and joy. They need to see you interested in their lives, their education, their play, and their accomplishments. Children know when their mother is only trying to find a way to get rid of them for a few hours by sending them off with friends or relatives, sending them to early naps, or anything else so the mother can attend to her own interest (reading a book, talking on the phone, shopping, etc.)
Is it wrong for a child to go away somewhere for a visit, or to take an early nap, or to be banished outside so a mother can get a little alone time, or time to finish a project? Of course not. These times are very refreshing for a mother if she uses her time rightly. Most mothers look forward to nap time or quiet time because they expend so much energy with their children and need this time of refreshment and quiet. But if a mother is only looking out for these times when she is away from her children as a time that she can “finally” enjoy herself, then something is wrong with her thinking. Her children are more important than that, and they will be eternally influenced by her.
Though I don’t think that children need to be “entertained” during their every waking moment, they do need to feel wanted and needed. They need to be talked to, played with, taught basic and complex moral issues, and in general, feel that they are an important part of the family unit. Instead many feel like they are just little energy zappers that are always in Mamma’s way.
Self denial is something we will always have the opportunity to practice. Our children are only with us for a little while and they need us so much! Let’s pour our lives into theirs, and produce godly men and women for Christ.
-Women of Great Price